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Oscar Live Blog 2012

by on February 25, 2012
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11:39: Chris: They came in just over three hours, which is not bad historically. Pretty decent show, though brought down by a weak movie year.

I’m glad “The Artist” won. It’s this year’s “Hurt Locker” — a small film but the one that was genuinely the most original, and the best.

Thanks to Indy Film Fest for having us join their party, and Forty Five Degrees for hosting!

From The Film Yap crew, see you next year!

11:37: Chris: My final predictions tally: I got 11 out of 24 categories right. Got most of the big ones, but my record in the “minors” was not so great. But that’s why I get paid the big bucks to make the bold picks …. oh wait, I’m doing this for free!

11:36 Joe: The Artist wins Best Picture. Meh. Thanks to everyone for reading!

11:32 Joe: Looks like they’re going to shave a full half-hour off of the Oscar telecast this year. Great work!

11:29 Joe: Meryl Streep wins Best Actress. Did Viola Davis get up and walk out?

11:28: Chris: With 17 nominations, Meryl Streep has been up for an award in just over 20 percent of all the Academy Award galas. Yow.

11:26: Chris: I don’t care what anyone says. Emma Stone was the lead in “The Help.” Everyone else was a supporting performance.

11:22: Chris: It’s looking like it’s going to end up a tie between Hugo and The Artist with five awards each. Still shocked about Midnight in Paris beating The Artist for best original screenplay. What a massive crock.

11:18 Joe: I wouldn’t call it a surprise, but I am a bit shocked that Jean Dujardin actually won.

11:11 Joe: Great rendition for the In Memoriam, but I still think a live singer over the montage is distracting. Less so this year than in previous ones, though, where they had to cut back and forth between the singer and the montage.

11:07: Chris: Nice move with the montage of those who have passed, putting a song under it and having people wait till the end to applaud. I know I kid about it in a nasty way, but it’s actually one of my favorite parts of the show.

11:03: Chris: I don’t care what anyone says, they should give out the honorary Oscars at the main show, instead of showing us clips and trotting them out for an applause. Did you see the motion on the makeup guy’s face? Imagine having that happen live.

10:55: Chris: It’s looking like “Hugo” will dominate the smaller categories, but “The Artist” is going to take home the big prize.

10:54 Joe: Michel Haza….Hauza…Hazanaoscarnow wins Best Director, instantly halting Scorsese’s momentum.

10:49 Joe: Billy Crystal is keeping things moving at a brisk pace. Bless you, sir.

10:48: Chris: Once again, I’m missing a lot in my predictions in the “minor” categories. But in most cases my personal favorite is the one that won! Should’ve gone with my heart.

10:40 Joe: Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig, together, are brilliant.

10:30: Chris: Woody? Really? I mean, really? That was the BEST screenplay of the year? More original than The Artist? Funnier than Bridesmaids? REALLY?

10:27 Joe: “The Descendants” wins something. Deserving movie, though I didn’t think they’d win. Also, Angelina Jolie is looking ravishingly skeletal tonight.

10:24: Chris: Still awaiting the Montage of the Dead. Laying odds on who will be the guy they show that absolutely nobody remembers, when the applause dies down to nothing. That most be so embarassing for their family.

10:21: Chris: Less than two hours in, and we’ve only got nine statuettes left to give out! I’m a little disappointed, though, that they didn’t play more of the Best Song and Score nominees.

10:18 Joe: “Man or Muppet” was a no-brainer. GREAT song.

10:14 Joe: “The Artist” picks up its second, for Best Score. It had to win because score was such a huge part of the film, but I still love the scores for “Hugo” and “Tintin.” Also, Penelope Cruz has to be the second most beautiful woman in the world (the first, of course, is my wife).

10:11: Chris: Why why why why why does the Academy president have to give this obligatory speech every year? Fortunately, Billy Crystal saves the moment with a terrific one-liner.

10:03: Chris: Christopher Plummer doing the gracious older gentleman thing very well. A very deserved award for an amazing performance, and a terrific career. What a joy it is to witness an artist so fully in command of his instrument.

10:01 Joe: Plummer! Plummer! Plummer! You haven’t truly experienced “Hamlet” until you’ve read it in the original Klingon.

9:58: Chris: IMdb says Emma Stone is 5’6″. It also says Ben Stiller is 5’8″. Clearly, someone is lying.

9:56: Chris: Either Emma Stone is super tall, is wearing 6-inch heels, or Ben Stiller’s surname before he changed it was Baggins.

And that’s five awards for Hugo now!

9:55 Joe: I know Chris hates it, but I heart “Kung Fu Panda 2” the more I watch it. I also Heart Emma Stone. And Jonah Hill. And Real Steel. And chocolate. And puppies.

9:49: Chris: “Rango” wins!! I’m so happy that in an undistinguished year for animation, the clearly most original film won.

9:44: Chris: Ah, the Best Documentary Feature category used to be so much easier to predict. You just picked the most anti-President Bush film and you were golden. Now it’s football … football! Oh well, congrats to “Undefeated.”

9:43 Joe: “Undefeated” wins best documentary…and they’re cutting them off. Classy.

9:40 Joe: Fact: Max Von Sydow was 82 when he did “The Exorcist.” He stopped aging then.

9:37: Chris: I do believe this musical production is titled Inception Meets Cats.

9:35: Chris: We’re one hour in, and they’ve already given away 9 of 24 awards. That’s a pretty good clip, considering how many sniveling “Stars talk about movies they love” moments they’ve already had.

9:33 Joe: Loved “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” picking up an Oscar. VERY good movie that was under the radar this year.

9:29: Chris: Aright, I take that last post back. “Hugo” is up with four awards now. Starting to see some momentum.

9:25: Chris: So far they’re really spreading the awards around. Could it be people actually voted their conscience, picking achievement in individual categories over the popularity of the movies?

9:22: Chris: Tiny Fey paired with Bradley Cooper? Isn’t that that a gross mismatch of intellectual and comedic firepower?

9:14 Joe: Minnie don’t burn no chicken, bitches!! Also, she has a little trouble walking in heels. Oscar moment right there.

9:12: Chris: Did anyone have any doubts about Octavia Spencer? I didn’t.

9:10 Joe: Why is Christian Bale using a fake British accent? SOmeone needs to tell him it isn’t 1986 anymore. I thought his voice was all gravelly.

9:08: Chris: “A Separation” wins Foreign film. Probably because it’s the only one of the movies people have heard of.

9:02 Joe: Did anyone in Hollywood have a better year than Jessica Chastain? “The Help,” “The Tree of Life,” “Take Shelter,” “The Debt,” “Coriolanus,” and was fantastic in all of them.

8:56: Chris: “The Artist” wins Best Costume, and I go ahead 2-for-3 on predictions. “Iron Lady” wins Makeup, and I’m batting .500.

8:55 Joe: Nipple slip alert! J-Lo is showing areola!

Chris: Debatable. I vote no.

8:52 Joe: They started the montage off with Forrest Gump and Titanic…I thought for a moment this would be a montage for undeserving Best Picture winners.

8:47 Joe: Hugo is 2 for 2! By the way, Hugo is my darling this year, so get ready for a lot of gloating and/or kvetching about that film.

8:45: Chris: But I make it back with correctly picking Hugo for Art Direction. 1-for-2.

8:44: Chris: “Hugo” gets on the board early with a win for cinematography. First award out and I’m batting .000 on predictions.

8:39 Joe: Oh, how we missed you, Billy Crystal. Welcome back.

8:36: Chris: Looks like they dropped some serious coin on the Billy Crystal opening montage. I think more than the entire budget for “The Artist.”

8:28 Joe: Robin Roberts is fantastic, isn’t she? She smoothly interviewed Chris Rock and managed to keep him from floating away and doing a dance number with the pink elephants from “Dumbo.” I’m not saying he was high, but they had to keep craning the camera up to keep him in frame.

8:23: Chris: I like Entertainment Weekly, had a subscription for many years, but the editor guy always comes across as such a tool on these television things. Must be embarrassing to not be able to write about how bad your boss is on TV.

8:17 Joe: I take the under. I’ll go with “Peggy Sue Got Married,” myself.

Also, is George Clooney not the most handsome man alive? I’d have his out-of-wedlock baby, and my wife would too.

8:12: Chris: We’re discussing the new Ghostrider movie with our seatmates, which brings up an interesting tivia question: Exactly when did Nic Cage switch over to full-time hairpieces? I’m guessing around about “Con Air.”

8:07: Chris: Wow, Glenn Close looks fabulous.

8:03 Joe: Hey look! It’s Tom Selleck!

7:55: Chris: This is my first time at Forty Five Degrees. Based on the clientele here tonight, you have to be young, cool and really good-looking to go here. Glad Indy Film Fest invited us, because otherwise they probably wouldn’t let me in.

7:47: Chris: Definitely not digging the E! Channel chicks bitching about the other women’s dresses. The head-to-toe panning thing takes it from snarky to disturbing. Plus, if you’re going to talk about how ugly the stars’ outfits are, shouldn’t I at least know whot he hell you are?

7:44 Joe: I think Steve has had a little work. If you look at him straight on he has that stretched-face look. But he earns a lifetime pass on the strength of his work in “The Jerk” alone.

7:40: Chris: Personally I find it creepy that with all the talk about plastic surgery in Tinseltown, nobody has noticed that Steve Martin has looked exactly the same for 40 years.

7:28: Chris: Fun to watch female comics like Tina Fey and Kristen Wiig giving their vampy glam looks to the photographers. You can never tell quite how much they’re indulging the Hollywood scene and how much they’re mocking it. Best guess: Fey 60/40 mocking, Wiig 70/30 indulging.

7:26: Chris: Challenging to watch at Forty Five Degrees, since they haven’t turned off the music yet. So we can see but not hear the Oscar broadcast. Right now, based on the visuals alone, Ryan Seacrest and Jennifer Lopez are discussing her breasts. Never a dull topic.

7:25: Chris: The reptile that killed Melanie Griffith and is now wearing the wrinkled remnants of her skin is appearing on the red carpet with Antonio Banderas.

7:21: Chris: Personally I think everything Sacha Baron Cohen does is pre-scripted.

7:18 Joe: Kim Jong Il is ALL OVER Ryan Secrest, and Cohen is escorted out by security. Me smells publicity stunt.

7:12 Joe: We have a Sacha Baron Cohen sighting! His date is two sexy Dictatresses…and Kim Jong Il’s ashes in an urn. NICE!

6:37 Joe: Live from downtown Indianapolis at the fabulous Forty Five Degrees, The Film Yap live blog is live and running! I will be joined by my partner in crime Chris Lloyd shortly, and we will be blogging all night from this fantastic Oscar party thrown by the great folks at the Indianapolis International Film Festival!

Early thoughts as E!’s pre-show runs in the background: best presentation I’ve noticed thus far is Stacey Kiebler, George Clooney’s current squeeze.

Trivia I just learned tonight: Ben Falcone, who played the Air Marshall harassed by Megan (Melissa McCarthy) in”Bridesmaids,” is McCarthy’s real-life husband.

Also: McCarthy is a first cousin to Jenny McCarthy.