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The Schlock Vault

Reviews of schlocky B-movies.

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3 yaps

Assault of the Killer Bimbos (1988)

If Lloyd Kaufman had produced an off-color version of “Thelma and Louise,” “Assault of the Killer Bimbos” would be the hilarious end result. Continue reading

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2.5 yaps

Barracuda (1978)

A weakly plotted conspiracy thriller disguised as a “Jaws” ripoff, “Barracuda” has little in the way of thrills and even less bite. Continue reading

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4.5 yaps

Blood Diner (1987)

I scratch and claw my way to the bottom of a seemingly bottomless barrel, and every now and again I’m rewarded with an insta-schlock gem like “Blood Diner” Continue reading

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4 yaps

Starcrash (1979)

“Starcrash” is a not-so-epic adventure set in space that borrows heavily from another film set in a galaxy far, far away. Continue reading

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4 yaps

Reform School Girls (1986)

Featuring the incomparable Wendy O. WIlliams, the 1986 schlock classic “Reform School Girls” is cheeky in more ways than one. Continue reading

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1.5 yaps

Curse of the Dragon Slayer

If “The Lord of the Rings” was given a $100 budget and Peter Jackson jumped ship, the result would be “Curse of the Dragon Slayer.” Continue reading

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4 yaps

Blood Widow (2014)

“Blood Widow” embraces all things Schlock and delivers one helluva good time. Continue reading

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3.5 yaps

American Mary (2012)

“American Mary” is a Canadian horror drama told uniquely from the perspective of a strong female lead. It’s bold, meticulous and undoubtedly Schlocky. Continue reading

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4 yaps

Big Man Japan (2007)

A parody of Japanese creature features of yore, “Big Man Japan” is an eccentric genre spoof with balls and brains in spades. Continue reading

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3.5 yaps

Mac and Me (1988)

“Mac and Me” is everything “E.T.” is not and yet an absolute ripoff all at the same time. A wonderment of late ’80s cheese you simply must behold to believe. Continue reading

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