The Schlock Vault
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Eaters (2015)

"Eaters" is equal parts "Texas Chainsaw Massacre," "Children of the Corn" and "Wrong Turn" — if only it exhibited the same originality or intensity.

Kill Me Three Times

A pretty standard thriller movie made special by the presence of Simon Pegg as assassin Charlie Wolf.

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Beam Me Up, Scotty: My Work Here is Done.

It's highly illogical to imagine a world in which Leonard Nimoy is no longer with us, but in countless ways he will forever stay with me.

Blacula (1972)

Viewed today, “Blacula” does make you squirm at times, but for the most part — and largely because of William Marshall — it is a fun vampire flick to watch.

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Blood Surf (2000)

“Blood Surf” is neither “Big Wednesday" nor "The Endless Summer,” but for Schlock lovers it’s a movie that rides high on a wave of blood and gore. Gnarly, dude.
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12 Days of Schlockmas: A 2014 Countdown

'Tis the season for making a list and checking it twice, and here in the Schlock Vault is no exception. Merry Schlockmas to all, and to all a bloodstained night.

Deborah Harry and Matthew Lawrence retelling "Hansel and Gretal"

Tales from the Darkside (1990)

"Tales From The Darkside" rides the wave of 1980s anthology horror, but the stories seem to be too little, too late despite the "King" and "Romero" tags.
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The Legend of Hell House (1973)

Filled with sexuality, eerie Gothic imagery and a ghost-on-girl love scene, "The Legend of Hell House" is a top-notch horror classic.

Raven De La Croix as Margo Winchester in a particularly busty scene

Up! (1976)

A bevy of buxom, bountiful babes belittle and bounces its way through a beatific backdrop of baleful Nazis and boisterous bosoms, by golly!
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Journey to the Seventh Planet (1962)

Everything about "Journey to the Seventh Planet" would land it on most people's "worst of" list, but those aspects make it right at home in the Schlock Vault.

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Parents (1989)

"Parents" is a self-proclaimed horror comedy that manages to neither tickle nor horrify.
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Terror of Mechagodzilla (1975)

In the final film of the Showa era, Godzilla returns to display the badassery that earned him the moniker "The King of the Monsters."

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Assault of the Killer Bimbos (1988)

If Lloyd Kaufman had produced an off-color version of "Thelma and Louise," "Assault of the Killer Bimbos" would be the hilarious end result.
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Barracuda (1978)

A weakly plotted conspiracy thriller disguised as a "Jaws" ripoff, "Barracuda" has little in the way of thrills and even less bite.